Fault
by InuHatake
Summary: "I was normal before you came along! This is your fault!" Those words cut deeper into him than anything, deeper than Ginny dumping him and deeper than the mudblood comments he received. It wasn't his fault... Seamus had been the one to kiss him.   DT/SF


**This was originally just supposed to be a one shot but I simply couldn't keep it to one so it's going to be between 3-4 chapters now! SeamusxDean is my all time favorite couple so I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I do writing it! Oh and I didn't do the accent for Seamus because well I didn't want to because this was supposed to be a one shot. But if you want to me to write the accent just let me know!  
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><p>The dorm was quiet except the sound of breathing and every so often a light snore a few muttered words from one of the sleeping boys. Seamus knew they were all sleeping, well Ron, Harry and Neville were. After sleeping in a dorm with them for almost six years he knew what they sounded like when they were sleeping. As he laid still, giving up his previous attempts to force sleep upon himself, he listened. Waiting for the sound he wanted to hear from the bed closest to his. Sleep.<p>

Today had been brilliant in it's earlier hours. Perfect weather, his best mates first game, and a brilliant win to top it all off. Everything seemed fine until that night, after the game Dean had been standing with Seamus, and even though Seamus was cheering with the others in Gryffindor house he was also listening to his best friend. The Irishman's attention span wasn't the best and when there was excitement around he found it rather frustrating to have to listen to more depressing conversation, but for Dean he listened. He told Seamus of how right before the game Dean's girlfriend of maybe five months, Seamus wasn't good with math, had broken up with him. He was trying to convince his sandy haired friend that he wasn't really phased by it, he knew it was coming any way. However Seamus knew better as the attention was pulled to the center of the room where Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter were now attached at the lips. At the sound of breaking glass and the chair moving against the floor Seamus knew much better.

After that Seamus followed Dean upstairs to their room only to be ignored. He couldn't deny that it stung a bit, Dean never turned him away, slowly he walked to his bed and sat down deciding even if his best friend didn't want to talk that he would still be there with him. So, very uncharacteristically, Seamus pulled out his DADA homework and started on his essay wordlessly. As Harry came in with Ron and Neville his eyes landed on Dean, though Seamus didn't want to be mad at Harry, it had been Ginny who kissed him, he couldn't help but send Harry a look when no one was looking.

Now took Seamus back to the present, where he laid looking at his best friend. His back as to him and he was sure that everyone else thought he was asleep but Seamus knew much better. He knew Dean to well some people would say, he couldn't help it. Once Seamus found someone who accepted him for everything he clung to them. He would only stop if Dean told him to, he was the only one who mattered in the scheme of things. He knew Dean better than he knew himself, at least he thought, and he was sure Dean knew more about him. There had been numerous times when Dean would tell Seamus he wouldn't like something and he had been right. When Seamus, who was never good with his emotions or words would shut down and Dean would see it in his eyes what was wrong with him.

A small smile found it's way to the blonds lips as he thought of this. He knew his relationship with Dean was different. With just a look Dean knew everything he was feeling, he could see into his soul at times. Turning his attention away from Dean he put his hands behind his head listening to Dean's breathing. It was perfectly normal to be losing sleep while you worried about your best friends well being. Wasn't it? He didn't want to think on the answer of other people.

Tilting his head slightly he looked over at Dean who had started moving slightly. Pulling his eyebrows together he turned back to his side watching carefully. Desperately he wanted to crawl into Deans bed like they did when they were first and second years but this was his sixth year and that wasn't allowed anymore. He wasn't sure why, he had no problem laying with him, what really stopped him was the fact that he knew how his best friend would feel. He was constantly scolding Seamus for being to affectionate towards him, saying that people were starting to talk. Out of respect for Dean he didn't say what he wanted which was something along the lines of "fuck everyone else". It wasn't his fault he was 'overly affectionate' as Dean put it, it was just who he was, he enjoyed physical contact. In Seamus's mind as long as they weren't actually doing anything it shouldn't bother either of them but Dean held his ground.

All of the scolding, and fear of the reaction he would receive faded as he heard a soft cry come from his friend. Shaking his head Seamus slipped out of his own bed slowly crossing the room. As Dean froze he knew that he had thought Seamus was sleeping, it made since, Dean refused to cry in front of anyone, even Seamus.

Slowly the Irishman sat on his best friends bed. His hand went to his back barely touching the other male who was still frozen. Pulling his knees to his chest Seamus kept his blue eyes on Dean. They were both quiet, Dean frozen in the same spot trying to figure out how he hadn't realized that his best friend wasn't asleep as he thought he had been. And Seamus keeping his hand on Deans shoulder knowing that the only reason he hadn't been told to move his hand or even leave the bed was that the other teen hadn't moved an inch.

Very slowly Dean sat up in the bed, he had been still for so long that his body protested even the slightest movement. Honestly he hadn't moved since he first ran to the dorm however long ago that had been. As his dark eyes scanned the window he closed his eyes momentarily, he hadn't even been this upset when Ginny told him it was over. He had seen it coming for a while now, what got him was that she went right to Harry only hours after breaking up with him. Had she even wanted him at all? The more that he thought about it the more he thought no. Dean himself was close to Harry, not super close but they were dorm mates and in the same year so they had to be friends. Maybe she was just using Dean to make Harry jealous. It wouldn't have been the first time a girl 'liked' him because of another boy. Honestly he was reluctant to ask Ginny out but he built up the courage to ask. That had been the thought that made him let a tear slip from his eyes.

Slowly turning from the window he sat up straight next to Seamus who had moved his hand. Almost instantly he missed the contact, maybe Seamus was effecting him, since when did he _need _physical contact. Glancing at Seamus out of the corner of his eyes he mirrored his position pulling his longer legs to his chest. He waited for the blond to say something, there was never a time when Seamus was quiet. That was probably the reason he assumed him to be sleeping, he was quiet. But then again Seamus was a sleep talker so maybe that should have been a signal that he was awake.

Letting out a sigh he clenched his fist, he was sixteen. He shouldn't need Seamus like he did, if anything he should have went to find some random girl who he could snog but no, he went to the dorm where he _knew _Seamus would follow. Letting his eyes once again drift to the boy beside him he couldn't help but think how different they were. Seamus was pale, soft blond hair, if Semus's hair was soft Dean honestly didn't know it was just a guess he had made. His eyes were a gray blue color that shined every minute, Seamus's eyes could be called dull blue but it felt wrong calling Seamus dull in any way. His friend was shorter than him, 5'3 or 5'4 he honestly wasn't sure. All he knew was that they were polar opposites, Dean was dark skinned, brow eyes, tall and lanky. Hell even their personalities were so different, when Seamus spoke it was something that happened every two seconds so it wasn't something anyone found rare. However Dean speaking was something that a few people from his own house hadn't heard.

He couldn't take it anymore, he needed to be touching someone, anyone probably would have done. Dean was lucky it was Seamus, he wouldn't think anything of a simple touch. Closing his eyes he turned his head placing his forehead on Seamus's shoulder. He felt Seamus shift before feeling the weight of Seamus's head on his own. Slowly letting out a breath he moved his head letting his cheek press against his friends shoulder. Maybe Seamus knew something he didn't, actually touching someone made a big difference in how he was feeling. He didn't care how old he was, a part of him wished this was first year and he could, let Seamus crawl into his bed, of course never the other way around, and hold him. It was innocent but frowned upon at an their age.

He knew that if it had been Seamus in this position he would be clinging to Dean like he would vanish if he didn't, he couldn't help himself sometimes. When he was upset or in pain he liked to touch people more than usual and usually it was the dark skinned teen next to him. He couldn't help himself, he was drawn to him, drawn to the large ink stained hands of his best friend. There was something about Dean's hands that always had his attention, most of the time it was innocent thoughts like how his hands were so large, how he made his hands move the way he wanted them to creating the beautiful works of art that Dean made. Other times his thoughts went to places that Seamus never admitted to even himself he held. Were his hands rough or soft, what would their hands look like if the pair held hands, and what would it feel like to be touched by those hands?

Quickly he shook his head, those were not thoughts he should have about Dean, he loathed himself every time he had one of _those _thoughts. However they seemed to be getting worse over time, if he could just wish them away he would. It was unfair. Seamus was taking the simple, and now few, touches he got from hid friend and turned them into something dirty. He could picture perfectly the look of disgust on Dean's face if he ever knew what he was envisioned doing to the person he shared almost everything with. That had to be one of his biggest fears, Dean leaving him. Most people could only deal with the loud Irishman for a little bit before they retreated somewhere else but Dean always stayed.

"What are you thinking?" Seamus's eyes went wide at the horse voice of his best friend beside him. He looked at Dean pulling his eyebrows together, "You never look so serious unless your thinking of something…"

He noticed how strained Dean's voice was and needing a way out of course seeing as he wasn't the best person at thinking on their feet he took his chance. "Do you need water?" He asked keeping his voice quiet so he didn't wake the others. "I'll go get it for you if you do." A small smile came to his pale lips as he looked down at the other boy.

Shrugging Dean pulled his head off Seamus's shoulder frowning lightly as he did, "Yeah thanks mate." he yawned as he watched Seamus grab a glass from his own nightstand walking to the lavatory in the back of the room.

Doing his best to relax Dean leaned back in his bed. He couldn't deny that with out Seamus the bed was much less comfortable. Running his hands over his face he let out a breath, there was no reason for him to be upset, she wasn't dating him when she kissed Harry, they hadn't really been getting along, it was obvious it was coming. Besides she was just some girl and he was a man, men weren't supposed to cry over silly little break ups. His sisters made fun of him when he would cry when he was little, Nichole was the worst about it. She was two years younger than him and thought she ruled the world. Half the things she did was just to make him angry or upset. Shaking his head he forced his mind to think of anything but his sisters, why should he think of something that was just going to make him even more upset? Rolling his eyes he glanced at the lavatory, how long did it take to get water?

Sitting up in the bed Dean threw his legs over the edge of the bed groaning as his muscles protested this movement. Letting out a breath he made his way to the lavatory in the back, he knew Seamus was easily distracted but he had no idea that getting a simple glass of water could make him lose his train of thought. That was one of the things Dean found rather amusing about his best friend. With the simplest of tasks his mind went to places Dean was sure he would be terrified to go, Seamus did come up with some of the craziest ideas ever.

Quietly opening the door to the lavatory he stepped inside rolling his eyes slightly as he saw his friend. Seamus was staring at his reflection, his eyebrows were pulled together showing Dean that he was deep in thought. His eyes that were usually bright seemed darker some how. He wasn't even sure his presence was known yet.

Stepping foreword he put his hand on Seamus's shoulder causing the other boy to jump and quickly turn his head. Dean stepped back taking his hand off of Seamus's shoulder as his friend looked at him. His eyes were wide and his face was pale except for the slight pink on his cheeks, which vanished very quickly so honestly he wasn't sure he had actually seen it. Holding his hands up Dean laughed lightly, "You okay Shay?" he asked raising an eyebrow watching the other teen.

Laughing a little louder than necessary Seamus nodded, "Oh yeah I'm great you just scared me you know?" he waved his hand placing a wide grin on his face. Fighting the urge to hit him Dean nodded slowly, he was an idiot if he thought that he was fooling him with that incredibly horrible fake grin. He also hadn't failed to notice the forced pronunciation of the words, anytime Seamus lied he lost a bit of the extremely heavy Irish accent and perfected the pronunciation of his words. Not to mention Seamus was much to proud to ever admit he was scared. Any other time he managed to scare his friend, on accident or on purpose he simply received a list of swear words and a few light punches.

Raising an eyebrow he nodded slowly as Seamus's eyes went to the ground. "You sure?" He questioned leaning against the now closed door of the lavatory. Now he had forgotten his problem, when his friend had that look Dean knew something was troubling him. "You seemed pretty deep in thought there." he motioned to the sink pulling his eyebrows together.

Shaking his head quickly Seamus waved his hand, "No mate it's nothing just me being stupid as usual." He shrugged.

Rolling his eyes Dean made a disgusted sound, "How many times do I have to tell you your not stupid Shay, a little crazy at times but hey that's why I love you."

As soon as those words left Dean's mouth Seamus tensed up, how stupid could he be? Seamus didn't like boys… he was sure of it. Just because he had thoughts of being touched by him, or even maybe kissed by him didn't make him a pouf. Dean was his friend, that he had strange thoughts about… that was it. But he couldn't deny the leap his heart gave when Dean said he loved him. He knew what Dean meant when he said that, Dean loved him like a brother, just as Seamus did him. As long as he told himself that was all there was to it then that would be what it was.

Finally looking up to meet Dean's dark eyes he shrugged, "I dunno… until it's proven that I'm not?" he added a small grin. "I'm not the smartest person in the world, I'm probably one of the dumbest… well above Neville you know." He shrugged thinking of their dorm mate. Seamus had nothing against Neville, he was his best friend outside of Dean but he was horrid in anything that didn't involve plants.

Letting out a sigh Dean shook his head, "Just shut up before we get into an argument." it was a pet peeve of his when anyone put themselves down, that was one of the reason's he couldn't stand Neville and Ron sometimes. Ron compared himself to Harry never realizing how many things he did, Neville was always hard on himself, hell Harry was to but he usually kept everything in. Seamus was usually confident or just didn't care but when he did put himself down it bothered Dean more than anyone else.

Shifting his eyes to the stone floor Seamus nodded as some of his sandy hair fell into his eyes. He hated fighting with Dean, anyone else he honestly could care less when he was in the moment. "I know I know." He waved his hand and shook his head.

His mind was racing and he really just wanted to be out of the suddenly crowded lavatory. Letting out a long breath he walked foreword keeping his head down. Pulling his eyebrows together he stepped closer to the door only to run into the only other person in the overcrowded room. His smaller body ran into Dean's taller lankier form and his eyes widened as his head shot up. Feeling his face heat up he held in a breath, it wasn't like he hadn't walked into Dean before but now he was acting as if he had never touched him in his life. He opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it, what was he even going to say? His mind wasn't working right, he wasn't even sure he could form words. When Dean opened his mouth he lost it, all of his brain waves shut off, his body was working of it's own accord.

Reaching out he grabbed the back of Dean's neck pulling him down to the shorter boys reach. Before Dean could speak Seamus's dry lips were on his stopping all comprehensive thoughts.


End file.
